I don't get embarrassed very easily. I don't know whether that's more to do with not acting in ways which could lead to embarrassing situations, or due to a lack of shame on my part, but either way, I rarely blush.
But this week I had two absolute crackers that I have to share. Here's part one:
Yesterday, shopping with my Grandma, we went through the customary hand slap game at the cash register about who was paying. Then the cashier said "I have to choose someone here, you're making it hard" to which my dear old Grannie replies rather loudly (I'm assuming due to the adrenalin from the preceding hand-slap war),
"Don't take money off her, She's unemployed, she's got nothing!!!"
A quick glance around told me that yep, everyone in the line, the other lines and the front half of the shop had heard and had started to have a look at what all the fuss was about. I very quickly attempted a reprimand under my breath, "Grannie, don't say that" and to the cashier "really it's fine, just take my money, it's my stuff" but Grannie only seized the opportunity to get her money in front while my guard was down, and passed the cashier her note with an even louder and strangely triumphant cry of
"SHE LOST HER JOB, SHE NEEDS HELP!!!"
I felt the colour in my cheeks slowly turning the same shade of red as the cashier's shirt.
I. Was. Mortified.
I stood there open mouthed and watched Grandma proudly complete the transaction as though she was my carer and my lack of employment left me unable to complete such purchases unaided. The cashier and surrounding customers were finding this all quite amusing. Grannie topped it off nicely by ceremoniously handing me my bag of goodies as though she was endowing me with necessities I hadn't been able to afford for years. I stammered out an incomprehensible mix of "resigned... my money.... don't need help" as I backed out the door looking around at the surrounding customers.
After we left the shop, and I'd regained my composure, I kindly and calmly explained to her the importance of not making such announcements in the future. That I didn't 'lose my job', nor do I 'need help', and that how, especially in a small town such as ours, the impact of such a statement could jeopardise my chances at gaining work in the future. You never know who is lining up behind you...
Initially she brushed it off, still rather gloatful. I had to make her understand...
"Next time you won't let me pay, I'm going to say "No, she's a pensioner, She eats cat food for dinner, She needs help!" I imitated her pitch and volume for extra impact...
This got through, "Oh dear, I'm sorry!"
Then we laughed our heads off as we walked arm in arm to the next shop, where she promised to keep her money safely in her purse.
I love my Grannie :)